WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:02.928 align:middle line:90% [MUSIC PLAYING] 00:02.928 --> 00:07.330 align:middle line:90% 00:07.330 --> 00:11.230 align:middle line:84% So this is a really exciting thing for me to do. 00:11.230 --> 00:12.790 align:middle line:84% I've never done this before, but I'm 00:12.790 --> 00:15.190 align:middle line:84% going to bring you in to show you 00:15.190 --> 00:18.850 align:middle line:84% how to negotiate in real time with Pam joining me 00:18.850 --> 00:20.770 align:middle line:90% as my counterpart. 00:20.770 --> 00:23.170 align:middle line:84% Pam is a very talented actor who's 00:23.170 --> 00:27.740 align:middle line:84% going to join me in the mock negotiations and scenarios. 00:27.740 --> 00:32.680 align:middle line:84% So in a minute, I'm going to get you to talk about something 00:32.680 --> 00:33.700 align:middle line:90% you're passionate about. 00:33.700 --> 00:35.320 align:middle line:84% And it doesn't matter what you're passionate about. 00:35.320 --> 00:36.385 align:middle line:90% It could be New Jersey. 00:36.385 --> 00:39.550 align:middle line:90% It could be cooking. 00:39.550 --> 00:40.690 align:middle line:90% It could be travel. 00:40.690 --> 00:44.650 align:middle line:84% It could be selling mortgages, but something 00:44.650 --> 00:46.150 align:middle line:90% that resonates with you. 00:46.150 --> 00:46.760 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:46.760 --> 00:50.500 align:middle line:84% Now, when we get started, all I'm going to do 00:50.500 --> 00:53.910 align:middle line:84% is the two skills I'm just going to use. 00:53.910 --> 00:56.320 align:middle line:84% First it's just going to be a label, which 00:56.320 --> 01:00.640 align:middle line:84% is it sounds like, it seems like, or you sound or you seem. 01:00.640 --> 01:02.518 align:middle line:90% It's just a verbal observation. 01:02.518 --> 01:04.060 align:middle line:84% And the other's going to be a mirror. 01:04.060 --> 01:07.533 align:middle line:84% Mirror's kind of a crazy technique. 01:07.533 --> 01:08.950 align:middle line:84% I'm going to repeat the last three 01:08.950 --> 01:10.990 align:middle line:90% words of what you just said. 01:10.990 --> 01:12.020 align:middle line:90% PAM: OK. 01:12.020 --> 01:16.360 align:middle line:84% And when I do that, if you feel like talking some more, 01:16.360 --> 01:17.980 align:middle line:90% then talk some more. 01:17.980 --> 01:21.010 align:middle line:90% If you don't, then don't. 01:21.010 --> 01:21.520 align:middle line:90% PAM: OK. 01:21.520 --> 01:25.685 align:middle line:84% But whatever I say, just react how it makes you feel. 01:25.685 --> 01:28.060 align:middle line:84% So have you thought of something you're passionate about? 01:28.060 --> 01:28.990 align:middle line:90% Uh huh. 01:28.990 --> 01:31.090 align:middle line:90% What are you passionate about? 01:31.090 --> 01:33.530 align:middle line:90% Escape room games. 01:33.530 --> 01:36.940 align:middle line:84% What is it about escape room games 01:36.940 --> 01:38.680 align:middle line:90% that makes you passionate? 01:38.680 --> 01:46.360 align:middle line:84% They are so fun to do with friends, and they're immersive. 01:46.360 --> 01:48.530 align:middle line:84% It's, like, such an immersive experience. 01:48.530 --> 01:53.500 align:middle line:90% And it challenges your mind. 01:53.500 --> 01:54.770 align:middle line:90% It challenges your mind? 01:54.770 --> 01:58.930 align:middle line:84% Yeah, yeah, because when you go in, 01:58.930 --> 02:00.700 align:middle line:84% if you know what an escape room is, 02:00.700 --> 02:04.510 align:middle line:84% you have 60 minutes to get out, right? 02:04.510 --> 02:08.440 align:middle line:84% And so there's this series of different puzzles 02:08.440 --> 02:11.620 align:middle line:84% that you have to solve in order to get out. 02:11.620 --> 02:14.650 align:middle line:84% Sounds like you like mental challenges. 02:14.650 --> 02:17.740 align:middle line:90% Yeah, I do. 02:17.740 --> 02:25.270 align:middle line:84% I do when it comes to that, that it's puzzles and fun 02:25.270 --> 02:27.430 align:middle line:84% and then you're kind of cooperating and doing them 02:27.430 --> 02:28.780 align:middle line:90% together. 02:28.780 --> 02:31.890 align:middle line:84% And you're also in this immersive experience. 02:31.890 --> 02:35.230 align:middle line:84% So it's as if you're in the mystery movie 02:35.230 --> 02:38.590 align:middle line:90% or if you're in the play. 02:38.590 --> 02:40.465 align:middle line:90% You're part of the play. 02:40.465 --> 02:42.130 align:middle line:90% It sounds like you like drama. 02:42.130 --> 02:45.474 align:middle line:90% 02:45.474 --> 02:47.200 align:middle line:90% Maybe I do like drama. 02:47.200 --> 02:50.620 align:middle line:84% I guess I like the suspense of it. 02:50.620 --> 02:52.950 align:middle line:90% I guess maybe I do like drama. 02:52.950 --> 02:55.560 align:middle line:84% But it also sounds like you really like people. 02:55.560 --> 02:56.530 align:middle line:90% I do, I do. 02:56.530 --> 02:58.270 align:middle line:84% I like to spend time with my friends, 02:58.270 --> 03:00.935 align:middle line:84% and I like working together with them in escape rooms. 03:00.935 --> 03:03.310 align:middle line:84% And the other thing that's kind of interesting about them 03:03.310 --> 03:05.840 align:middle line:84% is that if you have someone who's never done one before 03:05.840 --> 03:08.440 align:middle line:84% and then they come with your group, you're like, 03:08.440 --> 03:10.660 align:middle line:84% this is going to be so fun for you, 03:10.660 --> 03:14.080 align:middle line:84% and you try to make it the best experience for that person 03:14.080 --> 03:16.570 align:middle line:90% so that they enjoy them too. 03:16.570 --> 03:19.360 align:middle line:84% You sound like you really like to help people. 03:19.360 --> 03:21.640 align:middle line:90% I guess so. 03:21.640 --> 03:26.260 align:middle line:84% I never really thought about it like that, but I guess I do. 03:26.260 --> 03:29.610 align:middle line:90% I guess I do like to help-- 03:29.610 --> 03:30.620 align:middle line:90% It sounds like-- 03:30.620 --> 03:35.050 align:middle line:84% Not like I'm a terrible person who's so selfish, but-- 03:35.050 --> 03:37.202 align:middle line:84% You sound like a really loyal person too. 03:37.202 --> 03:38.440 align:middle line:90% Aw. 03:38.440 --> 03:41.230 align:middle line:90% That's nice to say. 03:41.230 --> 03:42.850 align:middle line:90% I think people say-- 03:42.850 --> 03:50.050 align:middle line:84% my friends do say that about me too, that I'm loyal, I guess. 03:50.050 --> 03:54.040 align:middle line:84% But I'm lucky in that the people that I'm friends with 03:54.040 --> 03:58.912 align:middle line:84% are nice people and good people, and I feel like my friends-- 03:58.912 --> 04:00.370 align:middle line:84% like, I would do anything for them, 04:00.370 --> 04:01.995 align:middle line:84% but they would also do anything for me. 04:01.995 --> 04:03.940 align:middle line:84% You sound drawn to good people. 04:03.940 --> 04:07.330 align:middle line:90% Yeah, I hope so. 04:07.330 --> 04:10.220 align:middle line:84% And hopefully good people are drawn to me too. 04:10.220 --> 04:12.830 align:middle line:84% So it sounds like you just really enjoy bringing out 04:12.830 --> 04:14.590 align:middle line:90% the best in others. 04:14.590 --> 04:17.450 align:middle line:84% Mm, I like to think-- yeah, that is fun. 04:17.450 --> 04:20.630 align:middle line:84% All right, so we just engaged in a practice session-- 04:20.630 --> 04:21.620 align:middle line:90% Right. 04:21.620 --> 04:25.370 align:middle line:84% --where you knew that I was using negotiation skills. 04:25.370 --> 04:26.540 align:middle line:90% Right, right, right. 04:26.540 --> 04:29.580 align:middle line:84% And knowing that, how did it feel? 04:29.580 --> 04:33.203 align:middle line:84% Well, I felt like I was like, oh, kind of-- 04:33.203 --> 04:34.620 align:middle line:84% as you were asking me something, I 04:34.620 --> 04:37.203 align:middle line:84% would be like, oh, I guess I've never thought of it like that. 04:37.203 --> 04:39.180 align:middle line:84% Oh, maybe that is what that means. 04:39.180 --> 04:42.420 align:middle line:84% So I was kind of discovering things, I guess, about myself. 04:42.420 --> 04:45.690 align:middle line:84% But I felt like it made me think that you were listening to me 04:45.690 --> 04:48.750 align:middle line:84% and being intuitive about what I was saying. 04:48.750 --> 04:49.520 align:middle line:90% Right, right. 04:49.520 --> 04:55.266 align:middle line:84% So how much do you know about my love of escape room games? 04:55.266 --> 04:56.560 align:middle line:90% Nothing. 04:56.560 --> 04:58.190 align:middle line:90% Nothing, nothing. 04:58.190 --> 05:00.540 align:middle line:90% Or how I feel about people? 05:00.540 --> 05:01.530 align:middle line:90% PAM: Yeah, nothing. 05:01.530 --> 05:03.600 align:middle line:84% Or whether or not I have family? 05:03.600 --> 05:04.140 align:middle line:90% PAM: Yeah. 05:04.140 --> 05:06.630 align:middle line:84% Or whether or not I've ever done anything like it? 05:06.630 --> 05:09.840 align:middle line:84% So I shared with you no common ground whatsoever. 05:09.840 --> 05:10.710 align:middle line:90% Right. 05:10.710 --> 05:13.040 align:middle line:84% And you talked about everything anyway. 05:13.040 --> 05:14.130 align:middle line:90% Right. 05:14.130 --> 05:15.510 align:middle line:84% So it felt comfortable for you. 05:15.510 --> 05:17.470 align:middle line:84% Yeah, it did feel comfortable for me. 05:17.470 --> 05:20.550 align:middle line:84% So as of right now, I know that you 05:20.550 --> 05:24.090 align:middle line:84% like intellectual mental stimulation. 05:24.090 --> 05:26.070 align:middle line:90% You like challenges. 05:26.070 --> 05:27.120 align:middle line:90% You like people. 05:27.120 --> 05:30.240 align:middle line:84% You like collaborating with people. 05:30.240 --> 05:34.350 align:middle line:84% My guess is you've got real strong feelings about how 05:34.350 --> 05:36.090 align:middle line:84% people should collaborate and that they 05:36.090 --> 05:37.200 align:middle line:90% should help each other. 05:37.200 --> 05:38.670 align:middle line:90% Mm-hmm. 05:38.670 --> 05:41.250 align:middle line:84% And that's why I took a shot at that loyal thing, 05:41.250 --> 05:42.810 align:middle line:84% because I start to add all this up. 05:42.810 --> 05:43.967 align:middle line:90% Like, if I want you-- 05:43.967 --> 05:46.050 align:middle line:84% now I know whether or not I want you for a friend, 05:46.050 --> 05:47.850 align:middle line:84% and you've got all these great qualities. 05:47.850 --> 05:49.300 align:middle line:90% You'd be an awesome friend. 05:49.300 --> 05:52.838 align:middle line:84% I could probably call you, and I'd say, hey, I'm in jail, 05:52.838 --> 05:54.130 align:middle line:90% and you'd come with bail money. 05:54.130 --> 05:55.465 align:middle line:90% Yeah, I know. 05:55.465 --> 05:57.840 align:middle line:84% So in that period of time, I learned an awful lot about 05:57.840 --> 06:00.128 align:middle line:84% whether or not I want to be friends with you 06:00.128 --> 06:01.920 align:middle line:84% and whether or not I want to work with you. 06:01.920 --> 06:02.880 align:middle line:90% Yeah. 06:02.880 --> 06:05.332 align:middle line:84% I never asked you one question other 06:05.332 --> 06:06.790 align:middle line:84% than what are you passionate about? 06:06.790 --> 06:07.540 align:middle line:90% What makes you passionate? 06:07.540 --> 06:08.123 align:middle line:90% That's true. 06:08.123 --> 06:09.750 align:middle line:90% You weren't asking me questions. 06:09.750 --> 06:11.270 align:middle line:90% You were just making statements. 06:11.270 --> 06:11.770 align:middle line:90% Right. 06:11.770 --> 06:14.190 align:middle line:84% Didn't ask you a single question once we got started. 06:14.190 --> 06:16.830 align:middle line:84% And look at how much I learned without asking you a question. 06:16.830 --> 06:17.850 align:middle line:90% Yeah. 06:17.850 --> 06:20.262 align:middle line:84% And if you saw me in a coffee shop someplace, what 06:20.262 --> 06:22.470 align:middle line:84% do you think your reaction would be to whether or not 06:22.470 --> 06:24.030 align:middle line:90% you want to talk to me again? 06:24.030 --> 06:24.960 align:middle line:90% If I saw you in a coffee shop? 06:24.960 --> 06:25.410 align:middle line:84% INSTRUCTOR: Yeah, if you saw me-- 06:25.410 --> 06:26.400 align:middle line:90% After this? 06:26.400 --> 06:27.110 align:middle line:84% INSTRUCTOR: --couple days from now. 06:27.110 --> 06:27.610 align:middle line:90% Yeah. 06:27.610 --> 06:28.850 align:middle line:90% I would say hi. 06:28.850 --> 06:29.350 align:middle line:90% Yeah. 06:29.350 --> 06:30.250 align:middle line:90% Right? 06:30.250 --> 06:31.890 align:middle line:90% Yeah. 06:31.890 --> 06:35.280 align:middle line:84% Can I say hi to you when I see you in the coffee shop? 06:35.280 --> 06:36.770 align:middle line:90% Exactly. 06:36.770 --> 06:37.270 align:middle line:90%