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[MUSIC PLAYING]

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So this is a really
exciting thing for me to do.

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I've never done
this before, but I'm

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going to bring
you in to show you

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how to negotiate in real
time with Pam joining me

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as my counterpart.

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Pam is a very
talented actor who's

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going to join me in the mock
negotiations and scenarios.

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So in a minute, I'm going to
get you to talk about something

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you're passionate about.

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And it doesn't matter what
you're passionate about.

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It could be New Jersey.

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It could be cooking.

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It could be travel.

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It could be selling
mortgages, but something

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that resonates with you.

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OK.

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Now, when we get started,
all I'm going to do

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is the two skills I'm
just going to use.

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First it's just going
to be a label, which

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is it sounds like, it seems
like, or you sound or you seem.

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It's just a verbal observation.

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And the other's
going to be a mirror.

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Mirror's kind of
a crazy technique.

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I'm going to repeat
the last three

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words of what you just said.

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PAM: OK.

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And when I do that, if you
feel like talking some more,

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then talk some more.

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If you don't, then don't.

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PAM: OK.

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But whatever I say, just
react how it makes you feel.

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So have you thought of something
you're passionate about?

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Uh huh.

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What are you passionate about?

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Escape room games.

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What is it about
escape room games

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that makes you passionate?

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They are so fun to do with
friends, and they're immersive.

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It's, like, such an
immersive experience.

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And it challenges your mind.

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It challenges your mind?

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Yeah, yeah, because
when you go in,

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if you know what
an escape room is,

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you have 60 minutes
to get out, right?

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And so there's this series
of different puzzles

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that you have to solve
in order to get out.

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Sounds like you like
mental challenges.

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Yeah, I do.

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I do when it comes to that,
that it's puzzles and fun

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and then you're kind of
cooperating and doing them

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together.

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And you're also in this
immersive experience.

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So it's as if you're
in the mystery movie

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or if you're in the play.

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You're part of the play.

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It sounds like you like drama.

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Maybe I do like drama.

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I guess I like the
suspense of it.

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I guess maybe I do like drama.

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But it also sounds like
you really like people.

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I do, I do.

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I like to spend time
with my friends,

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and I like working together
with them in escape rooms.

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And the other thing that's
kind of interesting about them

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is that if you have someone
who's never done one before

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and then they come with
your group, you're like,

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this is going to
be so fun for you,

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and you try to make it the
best experience for that person

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so that they enjoy them too.

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You sound like you
really like to help people.

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I guess so.

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I never really thought about
it like that, but I guess I do.

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I guess I do like to help--

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It sounds like--

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Not like I'm a terrible
person who's so selfish, but--

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You sound like a
really loyal person too.

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Aw.

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That's nice to say.

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I think people say--

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my friends do say that about me
too, that I'm loyal, I guess.

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But I'm lucky in that the
people that I'm friends with

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are nice people and good people,
and I feel like my friends--

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like, I would do
anything for them,

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but they would also
do anything for me.

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You sound drawn
to good people.

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Yeah, I hope so.

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And hopefully good people
are drawn to me too.

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So it sounds like you just
really enjoy bringing out

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the best in others.

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Mm, I like to think--
yeah, that is fun.

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All right, so we just
engaged in a practice session--

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Right.

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--where you knew that I
was using negotiation skills.

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Right, right, right.

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And knowing that,
how did it feel?

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Well, I felt like I
was like, oh, kind of--

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as you were asking
me something, I

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would be like, oh, I guess I've
never thought of it like that.

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Oh, maybe that is
what that means.

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So I was kind of discovering
things, I guess, about myself.

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But I felt like it made me think
that you were listening to me

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and being intuitive
about what I was saying.

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Right, right.

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So how much do you know about
my love of escape room games?

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Nothing.

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Nothing, nothing.

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Or how I feel about people?

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PAM: Yeah, nothing.

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Or whether or
not I have family?

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PAM: Yeah.

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Or whether or not I've
ever done anything like it?

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So I shared with you no
common ground whatsoever.

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Right.

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And you talked about
everything anyway.

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Right.

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So it felt
comfortable for you.

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Yeah, it did feel
comfortable for me.

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So as of right
now, I know that you

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like intellectual
mental stimulation.

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You like challenges.

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You like people.

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You like collaborating
with people.

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My guess is you've got real
strong feelings about how

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people should
collaborate and that they

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should help each other.

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Mm-hmm.

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And that's why I took a
shot at that loyal thing,

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because I start to
add all this up.

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Like, if I want you--

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now I know whether or not
I want you for a friend,

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and you've got all
these great qualities.

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You'd be an awesome friend.

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I could probably call you,
and I'd say, hey, I'm in jail,

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and you'd come with bail money.

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Yeah, I know.

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So in that period of time,
I learned an awful lot about

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whether or not I want
to be friends with you

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and whether or not I
want to work with you.

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Yeah.

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I never asked you
one question other

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than what are you
passionate about?

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What makes you passionate?

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That's true.

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You weren't asking me questions.

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You were just making statements.

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Right.

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Didn't ask you a single
question once we got started.

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And look at how much I learned
without asking you a question.

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Yeah.

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And if you saw me in a
coffee shop someplace, what

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do you think your reaction
would be to whether or not

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you want to talk to me again?

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If I saw you in a coffee shop?

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INSTRUCTOR: Yeah,
if you saw me--

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After this?

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INSTRUCTOR: --couple
days from now.

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Yeah.

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I would say hi.

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Yeah.

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Right?

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Yeah.

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Can I say hi to you when I
see you in the coffee shop?

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Exactly.